I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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