I didn't shave. On purpose
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize