okay pat passed out under dana's car
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
