he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
