I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
