I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
