You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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