We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
