Where did you get a picture of my penis
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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