he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
