everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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