You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
