You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
