Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
