no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
