yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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