Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
We need to rekindle our bromance
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
