You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
