Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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