oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
