just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Randomize
