I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
wow bdsm is so cute
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
