i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
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