We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
