I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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