You're my little dorito
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
