Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize