he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Randomize
