with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
