i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
