3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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