i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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