All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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