i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
