what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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