she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
