dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
