honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
