Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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