Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
