u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
