I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Are my feet made of real feet?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
