He is such a slut. More and more my type.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize