The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
