Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
