just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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