If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
