I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
