Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
