just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Come see our sink grown plant.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
