i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
