Whod you bang
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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