I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
