Just cropdusted the office
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I could fuck to npr.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
