so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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