We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
