i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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