you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
