I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
