And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
nutella sex= disaster
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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