Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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