Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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