you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
