Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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