I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Randomize
