I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
