I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize