You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
