So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
