Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Maybe he injected his testicle?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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