Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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