Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
