kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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