belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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