so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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