I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Houston, we have a squirter
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
