Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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